Overly Blessed

I felt that I am blessed, in my life, despite any shortcomings, I feel blessed. and especially today. Nothing goes wrong, everything goes right. So I feel i’m overly blessed.

But then the scare thought comes. We can’t be on top forever right? People say life is like a wheel, you can be on top and you can be at the bottom. Of course I’ve been at the bottom, but I just don’t remember how long I dwelled in it. So what happen now? knowing that the bottom would come. Live, prepare and have some faith, Rise Up !

2 Corinthians 4: 17-18 “For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long.  Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever.  So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen.  For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.”

2015 : A Brand New Year

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Happy New Year ! Here’s a couple of goals that I want to achieve by 2015.

1. Lose weight (also the goal of 2011,2012, 2013, 2014). But I’m no kidding here. I have found ways to actually achieve it this time.

2. Make more money.

3. and if God permits, have a baby (December baby, please)

4. better shapes for my business

Living 2014

The thought about leaving 2014 is a bit saddening. I’m gonna miss 2014, the year of Horse that I work like Horse. 2014 passes so quickly, too quickly that I don’t even remember how I spent my January, February, March. I did a lot, and hopefully I achieved a lot. I remember having this conversation with Wita, my bestie on Mid November, something about how November runs so fast and she said “I don’t think so.. It’s still mid November”. How foolish was I ? With Jonquilla, it makes me think ahead of all situations, even October 2015 doesn’t seem so far anymore. When Wita and I spoke, it was mid November but I could smell the end of November already.

I don’t know what I did that makes me think 2014 passes too quickly. I started my January 2014 with a boring Gala dinner with my family in Bali (minus my sister, she was in Taiwan for her friend’s wedding). I started 2014 without a goal what 2014 is gonna be like. I did not put any directions on my action plan. Of course there’s a sales target (Kusuma my Sales Manager is now having a Room Night target, and Jonquilla has a number of events target, and that’s normal every business should have it).  A property The Humming Soul was scheduled to operate in April 2014, so I was really excited for that to happen, but then again we didn’t keep the commitment for its first opening date.
Up from my wedding day in October 2013 till 31 December 2013, I had been thinking that it was just the warming up period, the honeymoon or what you may call it. So 1 January 2014 was like my full-time “employment” of being a wife.

I started my 1 January 2014 with a goal or resolution. There are two things I put on my 2014 Agenda under the page resolution:

1. Cook for Hubby
2. Renovation for TSI (the code for The Studio Inn)

As I recall what I put, I realized that the whole year of 2014 , I only cook for my husband TWICE (and I’m not proud), which was during our anniversary and later when I just felt like doing it. As of the renovation for TSI, there was no major renovation, but we did some other maintenance work to keep it comfortable for our guests.

Anyway..So here’s 2014:

January 

As forementioned, I started my 2014 without a goal but the companies have the goal. So that’s good, at least we’re not lost in the wilderness. There’s a light that we have to walk to.

Helped Mas Wahyu to make his office. There was an empty space at The Spot that I lent for his office, but after several weeks, he decide to give it up and I decided to make it Jonquilla Office Space. With minimal decoration, Jonquilla has a proper office (with no staff working 🙂 hehe.

Found the joy of eating Klaud’s delight soyabean curd and in January my refrigerator is stock with bowls of that silky tofu pudding. Thanks to Ko Andry, our wedding photographer, who introduced Klauds to us on Christmas day. I could eat the same thing again over and over again until I get bored and decided to stop for a while.

Also the month that I had a revelation I want to pick up and learn new things. I’ve always wanted to do counseling and thought that becoming a speech pathologist would be the right option for me. I did some of the theory works on my undergrad, and just left with another 18 or so credit work (mostly clinical) for a degree in Speech pathologist. My plan was to work and revamp the Dolphin Assisted Teraphy at Melka, with more clinical and scientific ways, not just its current alternative medication. You see, my plan is noble, and what I needed was to go back to school again. I told one of my friends, Samantha, and she said to me “I don’t know Ni, I don’t grow up knowing you want to do it. So, I don’t know whether it’s a good idea”. That comment actually put me into some serious thinking : do i want to do it because I want to do it, ? or do i want to do it to make a living? Nevertheless, I registered and months later I got accepted into one of the bona-fide university for its Distance Learning.

February

For the preparation of the school, I began to do some self-study on GRE, while at the same time keeping my daily job.

Other than the 1st Wedding Anniversary celebration of my business partner/friend, February seem to be drowned by the routines.

March

In preparation of The Humming Soul, I wanted to make a spa product that resonates the healthy and natural living. Thank God I’m still in touch with the Party’s secretary who runs a business making natural spa products. My meeting with her was cancelled due to heavy raining, but I had not crossed out from the list.

Our first MATTA Fair in KL. After MH’s dissapearance, I don’t think people have faith to travel. Nevertheless, made new friends, made some sales, but it wasn’t impressive. MH’s dissapearance could be the reason, or the world is just packed with countries and cities offering themselves to prospective tourists, Maybe Bali has more hotels than people could slowly choose and pick. It’s three days of sales insanity.

I decided to move up to my career ladder, pay somebody that’s more professional than me, so I can have more time in Jakarta (I feel bad to Ryan). So, I wanted to hire a Hotel Manager that seemed fit to run both of the small boutique hotels in Bali

April

The decision is made of hiring a Hotel Manager. I put my trust in him, and the rest is just in his hand.

Accepatance letter from USF : University of South Florida came. What’s the coincidence? When I was an undergrad, I always made mistake in typing University of San Francisco’s web address. I typed www.usf.edu while it should be www.usfca.edu . (www.usf.edu pointed to University of South Florida), and now that usf.edu was gonna be my school.

May

Went to Perth with Ryan, Jack and Wina. Reconnected with Sharon and Serena, my classmates from BHSS. Sharon came and pick me up with her husband and baby Leandra. Visited Margaret River for the first time and I told Ryan ” I don’t mind living in Margaret River. It’s my kind of country side”. Met Adeline my primary school mate.

My first photoshooting whereby I was the captain of the person in charge of the whole design. It’s always Deasy that plan and execute our Media photoshooting, but now it’s me 🙂 . of course with her advise, she’s more senior and she’s my business partner so we don’t work individually unless it’s better to work individually. The first time is always exciting.

WeddingkuMei2014_0103WM
June

Watched The Notebook for the 5th time in life. It’s MC112 (Interpersonal Communications), and 2 class hours are dedicated to watch and analyze and write the relationship of Noah and Allie. It reminds me to check the movie library or see the guidebook on what other relevant movie to watch and let my students to write about. The movie is good, but after watching it for at least 5 times, I think I  can finish Noah’s sentence.

The Humming Soul delayed its opening (again).

Helped Wita for Pippa Paper commercial photoshooting.

Fell in love again with the TV Series Grey’s Anatomy , and bought the DVD from season 1- 10 and watching it til it gave Ryan a headache.

July

Election Day 🙂 and Jokowi- JK won the election

Had this thought ” sometimes you need to fail to humble for success”
I think I failed something on that day

August

Supposedly  start my online class but I was soooooo overwhelmed during that period and I miss two classes of reading. With Online class, you need to keep self-motivated. and with a lot of matters going at that time, I don’t think I can keep myself at the beat. So i told the counsellor that I am dropping these classes and ask to be deferred to next Fall (Fall 2015).

The Tintin room is at The Spot Legian. Two posters that I bought from Perth is finally hanging at Tintin Room @ The Spot Legian.

My friend photographer snap some good photos at The Humming Soul, although it’s still under project, we could trick it a little bit.

Made a photo session for my team at The studio inn and The Spot, something like a class photo.

The first time I cried after finishing an event. I just thought that somebody (not naming any body, and if you are curious, definitely not Deasy) is not appreciative of my effort. The event went well, and the bride was happy. Nothing went wrong, but just some words that people say to let you down.

The second time I contribute for the fashion photoshooting of Weddingku Magazine. With the help of the stylist and photographer, I came up with the idea and led the production team myself (proud, proud). The magazine was out in the newstand at the end of the month and it’s the first time I see my face on a magazine.

September

The busiest of the wedding month. There was one weekend of Friday, Saturday and Sunday weekend. Tiring but fun

October

Our first Anniversary ! YAYY. We made the whole year together with minor bumps, of course. People said it’s not gonna be easy, and we think so too. I cooked chicken teriyaki and something else that I can’t remember now. He bought a bottle of Riesling and we had dinner at home after him coming back from work.

Phuket Trip. Bali is not a place for holiday anymore, so when Ryan had to go to Bangkok, we made the trip early and head to Phuket first. Phuket is awesome, we almost bought a holiday home, but after some thought we think we want to channel the saving somewhere else, not a holiday home yet. We booked a tour to go to Koh Phi Phi and while at the pier, I checked my bag and tadaaa…. my swim suit and his pants were left at the hotel room. Nevertheless, we did something that enabled me to not miss the opportunity of swimming by the beach, snorkel and enjoy the trip (not gonna tell you what 🙂 hehe).

The Uluwatu Peak is born. Financially it’s handed over (read : fully paid), now it’s time for us to operate. It becomes the 6th property of TPM Hospitality. I did the website myself ! Proud proud.

Decided to let go my an important position in the company as I  did not see him as a fit character to handle the properties. Everything is now back to me. But I realize something… I trained my hotel employees like an orphan. They don’t need a mother to breast feed them, but they who to look for  if there’s a robbery or fire. Management wise they know what to do, but it’s the consistency of the standard and the team work that needs to be continually built and emphasised.

November

A client’s wedding made my day. It was one of the most beautiful wedding that I have designed. The budget was high enough to give me certain flexibility. The client were wonderfully nice and easy so I had no fear of experimenting.

My primary school friend Adeline came to Bali and we reconnected over lunch and cocktail.

I decided to keep a Diary / Blog. Just like my Instagram, this blog does not have a theme.  It does not talk about any social , political or business issues, but it’s not a daily rant of my daily life. It’s just a blog. I write what I want to write.

December

It’s December now, so I will let you know what my December is like.

Apologize

Found an excellent tips on how to apologize, taken from Gary Chapman (the author of Five Languages of Love). I love his comment too “God will deal with your spouse spouse separately”.

My husband’s very good at apologizing.  It’s not that I don’t apologize. Admitting when you’re wrong is hard but I always do it when I believe I’m wrong. It’s that the way I apologize doesn’t get received as being sincere.  I’m working on getting better at apologizing and this is what I’ve learned so far.

In any apology, the hearer is usually willing to accept it if they believe the apologizer is sincere. The problem comes in how we determine whether or not someone is sincere. This all has to do with how you were taught to apologize.

We didn’t hear each other

In my family you could do or say something nice as gesture of apology. If you used words you just said “I’m sorry” and that was enough. But in my husband’s family apologies are more detailed than that. Rather than simply saying, “I’m sorry”
you say what you’re sorry for. In his family apologies are specific. He’s used to hearing things like, “I’m sorry I reacted without getting clarification first.”

Our different methods of apology have lead to some complicated situations in our home. I would do something inconsiderate. My husband would point it out. I’d mull it over, agree internally that it was inconsiderate, and do something nice as a gesture of apology. Then my husband would get mad that I glossed over the issue by doing something nice. I’d be left confused by the whole incident.

Other times I would do something inconsiderate. My husband would point it out. I’d mull it over, agree and say, “I’m sorry.”

My husband would say, “You’re not sorry, you don’t even know what you’re sorry for!”

So I would say, “But I agree with you! I’m really sorry!”

And would he say, “I don’t believe you’re truly sorry.” Once again, I’d be confused.

5 Ways to apologize

The differences in the way my husband and I hear apologies are pretty common. So what do you do when the person you love doesn’t hear you when you say, “I’m sorry?” In his book Things I Wish I’d Known Before Getting Married, Dr. Gary Chapman details five languages of apology that are universal.

1.Expressing regret -This language appeals to the emotions. It indicates that we are aware that we caused pain. “I’m sorry I spoke harshly. I know I’ve hurt your feelings and I’m so sorry for that.”

2. Accepting responsibility – This language spells out what was done wrong. “I was wrong to speak to you in that tone. I shouldn’t have reacted like that.”

3.Making restitution – This one is all about how to make up. Usually the request will fall in line with that person’s love language.“I can’t believe I reacted that way. Please tell me what I can do to make it up to you.”

4.Expressing the desire to change behavior – This one is pretty self-explanatory. “I keep losing my temper and I know that’s not right. I don’t want to repeat this. Can you think of anything that could help make sure this doesn’t happen?”

5.Requesting forgiveness – This is where forgiveness has to be requested before the apology is seen as being sincere. “I’m so sorry I spoke harshly and reacted the way I did. I know this hurts you. Will you please forgive me?”

One of these apology languages will resonate the most strongly with you. (For me it’s expressing regret). And likely, a different one will resonate more strongly with your spouse. (For my husband it’s accepting responsibility). Now we’re learning how to apologize in each other’s languages, as well as to extend the grace in accepting an apology that didn’t come out in our preferred language.

Something else I try to practice is to NEVER say “I’m sorry…but” even if there was wrongdoing on the other side. The “but” nullifies the whole apology. It’s an attempt to excuse your own bad behavior based on their bad behavior. It takes strength and humility but you ALWAYS have a choice over your actions. Be responsible for owning up on your end. God will deal with your spouse separately.

Source: http://powertochange.com/sex-love/5-apologies-that-always-work/

WooHoo! Christmas is coming close

I love Christmas! Always, and always will.

If you want some non-stop 24 hours Christmas carol, please stream to 96.5 KOIT www.koit.com
It’s the Bay Area Radioa Station that I listen to everyday in November and December during my days in San Francisco. Kind of bring back the memories too.

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On How to Work Effectively From Home

Working from home can be effective and rewarding, but at the same time for those who just got out from the corporate world might find it hard to discipline yourself to keep the tasks completed without being dragged to distractions. I have been working from home since 2010, and I would be lying that there are some days I don’t work as effectively as I should be. Too much TV, too much lazying around, etc. But after 4 years, I have finally found out the winning business formula that I have been sticking to it.

When people decide to work from home, they expect a greater flexibility. Now that you don’t have to commit to the finger print machine, or answer these e-mails by these hours, what keep you “in the zone” is just your self. There’s no boss that controls you (unless you are working with deadlines), but at the same time there’s no colleague that entertain you and go out to have lunch with.

This is my winning formula, written from the point of view of  a business-owner, recently married with no children.

1. Dresscode Matters 

It’s true that your home has no dresscode, you can be in your PJ all day and nobody cares because you’re working from home. But, it does affect your mindset. By wearing casual going out clothes (no pants and ties necessary here) you trick your mind that you are outside of your house.

I actually learned to do it when I did my final year project in Switzerland at the end of my Master’s. With a lot of time on my own, I had to make use the best of it by working towards the final project while at the same time attending regular classes. I felt that I was more focused when I am wearing my pants and shirts than I’m wearing my PJ.

2. Keep the same things going like you are in the office

A cup of coffee ? The tunes from your streamed radio ? For me, I like to keep people on my G-chat. Other than I use it to communicate with people in my “real” office, It makes me feel less lonely at home.

3. My boss is my agenda book

Every morning, I make a huge list of what I need to do. I’m a checklist maker and I love crossing one task after being done, as it gives me a sense of accomplishment. My agenda is my boss, it tells me what to do. And I love to ‘invest” in a good looking agenda to keep me motivated to write it. I’d say no to promotional agenda that large corporates often give at the end of the year. I want to pick my own boss, my own boss has to be attractive and I find it comfortable to work with.

The way I put my tasks is perhaps rather silly. I don’t only put the important business-related tasks, but I also put something like…pay internet bills (oh thanks, Now i need to put this in my agenda), make reservations for Mom’s birthday dinner, et cetera, where it acts as a reminder.

My Kikki.K diary has a set of stickers, and I reward myself with a sticker if I accomplish all the agenda and I do a good job.

4. Food matters 

I’m a lazy eater and I’m not fussy about what I eat. I like good food, but I don’t mind eating any food just to get me to the day. (and that’s the reason why I can’t be a chef. With this high tolerace of food, nobody wants to trust this lady . PS. People have been asking me, you went to hotel school, you didn’t learn how to cook meh? Nehh.. not in the syllabus, so I’m glad :)) .

Lucky for me, I live nearby my mother who has food all the time on the dining table. So I can just go there and have my lunch and come back, or collect food in the morning and re-heat it for my lunch.

Anyway, I don’t always work from home, especially when in Bali. I’ll tell you more about myself in the ensuing posts.

5. You have to want to work

Unlike in the office where you have to “work” (get things done, look busy, pretend to be typing something on the computer when actually your mind is somewhere else), working from home needs a discipline to be cultivated. We can trick the environment, but you can’t trick you. When you don’t want to work, you can’t work. And it’s normal. In the office, we have few distractions and variations with co-workers chit-chatting, talking to the clients, travel meetings. At home, it’s just you and yourself and your work (and your laptop maybe?). So in other words, when we are working from home, we set our brain to work harder, more focused, and it can be more tiring, so give your way for a little bit of break. Like me, I can’t force my body to never leave in front of the laptop from 9-5, and there are a lot of occasions where I just don’t feel like working. When I don’t have any deadlines, yes, sure, why not, but when I have a deadline, I have to be self- disciplined.

So how to make you want to work? Find out why it matters most to you. Do you need to deliver something to your client? Do you need to do it to achieve your goal? For me, my work at Jonquilla Decor involves in delivering concepts, replying e-mails pertaining to the wedding days of my clients. My work at TPMHospitality is more of the person in the background. I do things that make my frontliners excel in their positions (template to be written, SOPs to be delivered, photos to be updated, budgets analysis etc). So if i dont do that a) my client will be upset and this will affect our business run as a whole  and b) my team can’t work smoothly. So these things are at my stake, and I can’t laze around.

It’s important to find out what matters to you, and what happen if you don’t follow your schedule.

6. Pace yourself 

One at a time, slowly but not too slow. Besides this blog that I just started to write, I usually update Jonquilla Decor’s blog by posting pictures on recent weddings or upcoming event. I’m not a copywriter but since hiring a copywriter for a small medium enterprise can take a huge chunk of our income, we decide not to have a copywriter. Writing can be tiring, and I don’t schedule myself to update my personal blog, write e-mails to my clients, update blogs within a 4 hours frame. I can’t run a marathon, the way it works in a factory setting. Write emails, pay my bills, tidy up my home office, back to blog updating, repy e-mails et cetera.

Anyway ,that’s all for now, I need to keep on going to follow my agenda boss, as I need to collect stickers at the end of today. So all the best of you putting these things into practice. If i find some other formula that is tested and tried, I will update it here. And till laters !

Hello world! My Blogging Debut

Hey there !

There’s quite a number of reasons to why I feel the need to start blogging. Hmm.. I don’t know where to start, but this is not the first time I blog.  Besides my previous attempts of keeping a blog (and they all last for only two or three posts), I am updating the web blog or portfolio blog of Jonquilla Decor on a daily basis. For those of you who are not familiar with Jonquilla Decor, it’s a florist and wedding & event decorating company that I began to involve myself more in 2013. Yes, I’m the person behind the blog who uploads photos and posts on our recent wedding. Besides that blog, hmmm… I can’t keep any.

You see, the reason why I have not been successful in keeping one is because I had thought that blog needs an audience to keep me writing; like people to cheer you when you are running on a marathon to keep you going, that sort of thing. But turns out, nehh.. I don’t really need an audience. I will just share what I want to share and if you happen to stumble upon this, welcome to my blog :).

So perhaps you (yes, still expecting an audience) will expect some of these daily/weekly/monthly (or let’s see how regular I am in posting this): rants of my life, how life has been keeping me going, trips & holidays, events, and other wonderful ideas/ happenings that entice me.

So to answer the question on the first paragraph on the reason why I need to blog is just to record ANY things I face during the day. It’s like a time capsule that I may refer to in the next 15 years (If blog still exist and If i still able  to pay the domain). Perhaps my future generation is interested to know how mama Nathania or grandma Nathania was doing in the this time of her life. Who knows?

That’s all now 🙂

Have a great day